


Now That You're Dead, What Are You Going To Do With Your Life?

by thatworksformehyoop



Category: Heathers (1988), Heathers: The Musical - Murphy & O'Keefe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-20
Updated: 2017-11-22
Packaged: 2018-12-04 12:19:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 22
Words: 15,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11555076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatworksformehyoop/pseuds/thatworksformehyoop
Summary: After Veronica and JD barely escape the bomb, they're left to rebuild and reexamine their lives. JD tries to fix himself and Veronica attempts to create a life that looks anything like the one she planned. And, as for their relationship, Veronica knows things can never be the same, but she can't help wondering if they could be similar.





	1. The End of the Beginning

:15

“We still have time JD. Just drop it and we’ll run.”

:14

“It’s okay Veronica. You won. Go.”

:13

She began to walk towards him, arms outstretched. 

:12

“Veronica, don’t.”

:11

She pressed their lips together, on her toes to stretch over the bomb between their chests. He pulled away and dropped the bomb between them. 

:10

She grabbed his hand and pulled him away, meeting less and less resistance as she ran as fast as her legs could take her. Adrenaline launched her forward. The beeping faded away. She could see him at her side in the corner of her eye. They reached the fence at the end of the football field. She clung to it and closed her eyes as a boom sounded through the air and her back was struck with debris. 

“JD?” She spun around, panicked, but before she had time to turn fully around she was in his arms, her face buried in his chest. 

His heart was beating as fast as hers, and she could feel him shaking, hyperventilating into her hair. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Veronica.”

She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his waist, melting into the warmth of his chest, the world hidden behind a wall of thick black fabric. It was almost the same as days ago, lying in his bed, underneath the blankets at 2 am. Safe, dark, warm. 

She felt him take a deep breath after a few moments. “We need to go.” 

He grabbed around her shoulders and guided her behind the building next to the field to escape without being seen. The fantasy was over. 

They walked in silence, through a back gate, into the parking lot, around the main building, to the street, before ducking in an alleyway where the residential area ended. The yells from the edge of the crater in Westerburg’s football field faded. She slid down the alley wall to squat above the ground. JD remained standing, pacing with his hand running through his hair. 

She finally spoke. “What now?” 

“We go home, I guess.” He stopped pacing and looked out into the dark alleyway, eyes glazed over. 

It was the simple answer. What else was there to do really? What to you do when you reach the part of your life you never thought you’d live to see? 

He reached his hand out to her to help her get up. She took it and stood. They faced each other for a moment. She laughed. He smiled and tilted his head. 

“What’s funny?”

“We kind of look like we were just next to an exploding bomb.”

The back of her hair and clothes were singed, and he was covered in ash. He must have turned to watch the bomb go off. 

“I suppose we do.” They smiled at each other for a moment. He looked away, taking in a deep breath before holding out his hand for her to shake. “I guess this is goodbye, Veronica Sawyer.”

She looked down, her brow furrowed. 

"Um, actually, JD?"

He let his hand fall. "Yeah?"

"Can you just come over tonight? I don’t want to be alone. I would sneak out and go to your place, but my parents already thought I was dead once today, I figure I should give them a break.” She laughed nervously.

He looked stunned. “Yeah, okay.”

“And we should probably both shower. I mean, separately.” 

She cringed as they walked out of the alleyway together.


	2. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica has a really bad day

A week had passed since the bomb went off. Since football season was over, there was no reason to fix the field, so a huge hole remained in the school. It was now full of beer cans, as it had become one of the most popular places in town for teenage tomfoolery. 

Veronica and JD hadn’t talked since that night. Even then they didn’t talk much. They had showered and collapsed on Veronica's bed. They held each other in silence in the dark, trying not to think as they phased in and out of sleep. When JD finally separated himself from her and checked a clock, it was 1 am. He kissed her on the forehead and walked out (through her door, for once). 

She had been dutifully catching up on schoolwork after the months of being perpetually distracted by Heathers and romance and murders. Thankfully, her good reputation and fake tears convinced her teachers to give her her former impeccable transcript to send to colleges if she managed to make up the work. Exhausted by the constant worried looks from her parents, she had been working in the silence and solitude of the library every night. As a result, she was again leaving school at 7 pm with heavy eyelids and the long missed satisfaction of being truly productive. She almost felt like herself again. She opened her locker to put her books inside. Inside, she found a large plastic bag. 

She took it out and opened it. There was a post-it note inside upon a pile of various objects. 

In slanted, messy, black handwriting it said: “SOME THINGS YOU LEFT -J.D.”

Her heart sank. She had given him her locker combination for a game they played. They’d leave notes with meeting times and locations, embarrassing love notes, notes about funny things they’d seen, pictures they’d taken together and gotten developed, sometimes gifts. But this wasn’t a cute note. There were no hearts along the side or little poorly drawn pictures of her smiling from the corner. 

She peeled the note off of the book that rested on top of the pile and looked through the bags contents: a toothbrush, cotton underwear, a blue gel pen, a book of poems, a necklace, and a tube of lipstick. She could begin to feel tears welling up in her eyes and was hit with a wave of humiliation. She punched the door, slamming it shut. 

“Aw, fuck!” She clutched her sore hand, biting her lip. “Oh, and- fuck.”

She put in her combination one more time to actually return her books. Once she put them in her locker and her bag of possessions in her bag, she held her locker door to close it once again, and was met with the two pictures she had taped to it. One was a photo booth picture with Heather Chandler, pretending to look seductive, serious, sticking out their tongues, and smiling, their mouths open with laughter. The other was a blurry Polaroid of JD wrapping his arms around her and kissing her cheek as she pretended to pull away, roaring with laughter. 

“Oh, god dammit.” Her voice broke as she slammed the door again, tears finally spilling out of her eyes. 

She swung her backpack over her other shoulder and stormed out the door onto the sidewalk. She wrapped her arms around herself, shivering in the winter air, protected only by a miniskirt and thigh highs. She took a deep breath and wiped the tears off her cheeks. 

“C'mon, Veronica,” she whispered to herself. 

“Hey, Veronica!” She turned to see two guys from her school driving by, one sitting on the passenger side window to holler at her from over the roof. “You look sad, baby, give us a smile.”

She wanted to flip them off, to yell at them. She was too smart for that. She hated that she couldn’t protect herself. She especially hated how much she hated that there was no one to protect her anymore. So she settled for looking straight ahead and walking on. Her house was in only two more blocks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and stuff! Longer chapters are coming later, I swear. PS Im sorry Veronica I love you


	3. JD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From JD's perspective

He watched from the end of the hallway as she opened her locker. He saw only books as she reached in to select a couple to put in her bag. She must have already taken the bag. He felt guilty for being disappointed that he couldn’t see her reaction. 

He walked to his own locker and opened it. Inside, stuck to a chemistry textbook, was a note written in the same gel pen he had just returned. The same gel pen that he had used to write notes for himself in her messy, bubbly handwriting. They were stuck all over his bathroom mirror. 

But this one wasn't like the ones he pretended he was still receiving. It didn’t have swirls doodled in the corners. The note wasn't full of nicknames and inside jokes.

It just said: “Thanks. -V.S.” 

That was it. He had always been careful never to leave anything at her house. It was a habit from moving around so much. Anything worth having, you don’t leave in a place you might not be able to get to it if you have to leave quickly. 

He peeled the note off of the textbook and folded it carefully before sticking it in his coat pocket. He got his books and walked to class, gently stroking the spine of the folded note as he walked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised you a longer chapter. This is not that chapter.


	4. JD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> JD and Veronica finally speak. At least a little bit.

Two months passed in silence. JD and Veronica smiled and waved at each other in the hallway. He watched her laughing with Martha and the two remaining Heathers at lunch. In the classes they shared he stared at her when she was hunched over a textbook or math problem and too focused to notice. The school he once wanted to watch burn was his sanctuary. He could breathe better in a room she was in.

At home, things weren't so peaceful. He and his dad had made a deal that they would stay in Sherwood until he turned 18, when his dad would leave and JD, in his father's words, could "do whatever the fuck he wants." The house was tense. His dad, always hating to stay in the same place, had been drinking more than usual and sat on the couch for most of the day, sometimes moving to the backyard to shoot beer bottles off the wall. Dishes piled up in the sink and the house smelled like liquor and sweat. When he was too drunk to move to the backyard, he would instead practice his aim by throwing bottles at JD whenever he was dumb enough to pass through the living room. 

JD joined the book club as an excuse to spend more of his time away from home. It turned out, it was just him and two other guys talking about books they liked in a never-used classroom in the basement. It was heaven. For the first time, he sat with others at lunch. He had friends. His life was almost whole.

Today, Veronica was balancing a chemical equation in her notebook, only one row ahead of him. She swung her foot from side to side under her desk as she tapped her pen against her lip, thinking. His eyes glazed over, watching her hypnotic movement. They were both awakened by the bell. 

"Okay, we're going to do an experiment today." The teacher rose from his desk and walked to a table in front of the room covered in half-filled beakers. "We have citric acid and sodium carbonate. You will be neutralizing the citric acid. The instructions are on page 239 of you textbook. Do not ask me questions. Do not drink anything. Do not throw anything at anyone else. Please try to be quiet. Get in pairs."

Veronica moved to Heather Duke and JD to Allen, one of his friends from book club.

"No, no, no, no. You're all getting with your friends, you'll be talking the whole time. Go with, I don't know, the person behind you." The teacher went back to his desk to put his head down. 

Veronica turned around, sighing. Her eyes widened when she saw JD sitting behind her. His heart sped up.

"Oh, JD, cool. Hey." Veronica gave a nervous half smile. 

Heather Duke smirked as she went to sit next to Allen. JD grabbed his bag and went to take Heather's place. Veronica had already risen to get their materials from the front of the room.

She sat down, placing two beakers and a pipette on their desk. She turned to her textbook, flipping through the pages. Once she found the page, they began setting up the experiment in silence, careful not to even brush against each other or make eye contact. 

After a few minutes of tense silence, JD finally spoke. "Veronica?" She turned to look at him. "I promise to try not to blow anything up this time."

The tension fell from her face and she laughed. She really laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did someone ask for a really cliche fanfic chapter? No? Well here it is. Next chapter will be up soon!


	5. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica plans her future.

“Veronica!” her mom shouted. “It’s here!”

She ran down the stairs so fast she nearly fell down them. In her mothers hand was an envelope from Brown. A big envelope. She nearly passed out. She grabbed it, ripped it open, and read the first word. 

“Congratulations!” it said. 

Her heart jumped. Her mom screamed and squeezed her so tightly she couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t breathe anyway. 

“Go and put on a nice dress,” her mother said as she let her go, “we’re going out. I’m going to go tell your father!”

Veronica stared at the letter in awe for a few moments, then ran upstairs and dialed Martha’s number on the phone in her room. Martha screamed and laughed and congratulated her a million times. She called the Heathers and they hollered and, in the blondes case, cried. She put down the phone and stared at it, smiling.

“Veronica, we're leaving in 20 minutes!”

She chewed on her bottom lip. 

“Fuck it.”

She dialed his number without even having to pause to remember it, her heart beating faster and faster as she listened to it ring. 

“Hello?” His voice was groggy, most likely just having woken from one of his three hour naps. 

“Hey, JD. It’s me.” 

“Veronica?” he squeaked. 

She laughed. “Hi, yeah. I just- um I don’t really know why I called." She paused. "No, I do. I just wanted to tell you- I got into Brown!”

“What? Really? Oh my god Veronica! That’s- that’s amazing!” She laughed. “I’m so happy for you, you deserve it, really.”

“Thank you, I hope this isn’t weird, I just, felt like I should tell you.”

“What’s weird about one friend calling another with the best news in the world?” She smiled into the receiver. “So, you must be so excited! Brown's in Rhode Island, right?”

“Yup, Providence.”

“Veronica Sawyer, leaving Sherwood. How will the town survive.”

“Probably won’t,” she laughed. 

“Probably.” 

“Have you been? It’s gorgeous.”

“Probably the one place in this damn country I haven’t been.”

"I’ve just been to the East Coast the once to tour colleges, but the buildings are so tall and everyone is so smart and they read and drink black coffee. It’s hard to believe it is the same country.”

“The world’s a big place, Veronica Sawyer.” 

“I know. I’ve barely seen a corner.”

“That’ll change. I see big things in your future.”

“Do you now?” She laughed and lied back on her bed.

“Yup. And I’m psychic.”

“Are you? You never told me that.”

“I feel like there’s a lot of stuff I haven’t told you.”

They both stayed silent for a moment, just listening to each others breath on the other end of the line. 

“Listen, JD, I should get dressed. My mom wants to take me out to some nice celebration dinner or something.”

“No spaghetti tonight?”

“Nope, no spaghetti.”

“Well, have fun. I’m happy for you.”

“Thanks. Well, bye! Talk soon, hopefully.”

“Wait, Veronica?”

“Yeah?”

“Um, I went to therapy. A couple times actually. You were right, not half bad. My dad thinks it’s for pussies, but whatever. Anyway, just thought I should tell you since it was, ya know, your idea. Anyway, sorry, have a great dinner, congratulations.”

“That’s great JD. And thank you. And good luck, with everything.”

“Thanks, Ronnie. Bye.”

“Bye.”


	6. JD & Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and JD have one of their recent nightly phonecalls

“Okay that’s just not even true,” she laughed as leaned over to paint her toenails navy blue, holding the phone between her cheek and shoulder. 

“Did you even read the book, Veronica? He took the fall for her, he died for her. That isn't love?” 

“He just loved the idea of her. He fell in love with her when he was all poor and was amazed by her life.” 

“But he kept loving her when he was rich.” 

“He was a different kind of rich. Her life was still the ideal. And that’s what he loved. That’s why he was never satisfied.” 

“Can we just agree to disagree?” 

“No, JD, you’re wrong.” 

“You’re impossible.” 

“What are you doing? You’re making so much noise.” 

“I’m making macaroni and cheese. You’re on speakerphone. My dads out.”

“Ooh, bring be some.” 

“Is that why you’re talking to me?” 

“No I’m talking to you because you have some horrible misconceptions about the Great Gatsby that need to be cleared up. Why is your dad out?"

"He's been getting pretty antsy staying in Sherwood. He's been trying going to bars instead of just drinking here for a change."

"That's nice."

"So nice. I've been playing my sax as loud as I want and going into the living room without having to duck." Veronica went silent. She always hated when he joked about stuff like that. "Sorry." 

"It's okay. I realize you never played anything for me."

"You don't want me to, Veronica. I suck."

"True, but that doesn't necessarily apply to your musical talent." She snorted as she laughed, causing him to smile widely. "Oh god, I’m getting nail polish all over my sheets.” 

“Why are you painting your nails in bed?” 

“Because that’s where the phone is, dumbass.” 

“I never got painting nails. Why is having colored cartilage more attractive than bare cartilage?” 

“Because it’s fun, JD. I’m still pissed you never let me paint your nails. Then you’d see.” 

“Are you trying to get me beat up?” 

“Yes. And I could do black to go with your edgy aura. Manly.” 

“No.” 

“Yes.” 

“Okay, how’s this. You finally read Slaughterhouse Five, and you can paint my nails.” 

Veronica groaned. “You keep making me read these dude books.” 

“That’s sexist.” 

“Fine I’m sexist, men have worse taste.” 

“I don’t know, men seem to like you.” 

“Well, I’m Great Gatsby. Universally appreciated, although frequently misinterpreted.” 

“Okay, that was nice.” 

"How's the mac n' cheese coming?" She lifted up her foot to blow her nails dry.

He stood in the fridge, searching through the shelves. "Well, I figured I'd add a vegetable since I haven't consumed one in... five years? Approximately? And we have ketchup, garlic salt, and half a banana. Do you think any of those will work?"

"Jesus Christ, JD. I do not know how you aren't dead yet."

"Me either, Ronnie."

"You need to take better care of yourself! Go get some freaking fruits and vegetables."

"Veronica, I can't have my Dad coming home and seeing a zucchini in our fridge. I might kill the man." He shut the fridge door and returned to the stove. 

"Another bonus." She laughed. 

"Well, true." He poured his pasta into the bubbling water. "I'll tell you what. Tomorrow I will get a salad for lunch. Even if it kills me."

"It's a deal."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really appreciate everyone who is reading this! I'm really enjoying writing it. Please leave comments!


	7. Veronica

Veronica, Martha, and Heather Macnamara pushed their way through the crowded cafeteria holding trays, discussing that night's weekly slumber party. 

"Ooh, can we go dress shopping Saturday morning?“ Heather squealed. 

“Heather, I don’t even know if I’m going.“ 

“C’mon, Ronnie, it’s our senior year! You have to go.” Martha grabbed Veronica’s arm and pulled on it. 

"I don’t even have a date.“ 

“Ask someone!" 

"That’s easy for you to say, Heather, you already have a date." 

"Im asking Paul. If I can, you certainly can,” Martha argued. 

They reached their usual table and sat down. Veronica put her tray on the table but remained standing for a moment, scanning the cafeteria. In the corner, she saw a messy-haired boy dressed in all black. He smiled when their eyes met, lifting up a tray with a salad on it to point at it, looking very pleased with himself. She smiled back at him, nodding and holding up a thumbs up.

Heather gasped when she saw this short interaction. "You should ask JD!“ Heather sat down at their table in the center of the cafeteria. Martha and Veronica followed. 

"Jesus, no Heather. We haven't actually spoken in person in months. It'll bring up so much stuff I do not want to bring up. It's been so nice just being able to talk to him at all, I don't want to mess it up." 

"You could ask him just as a friend! Maybe things can be better, maybe eventually-" Martha said.

"No Martha, I can't. It'd be so weird! It's too real."

"Veronica, it would be fun! You like him, just do it!" Heather groaned. 

Heather Duke sat down with them. "What's up guys?"

"Veronica's being a wimp and isn't going to prom because she won't grow the balls to go ask JD." Heather said, tilting her head to stare at Veronica.

"Veronica, you have to go to prom, stop being a pussy." Duke picked up a pea off of her plate and threw it at Veronica, hitting her on the cheek.

"Hey!" Veronica was then hit on the head from the side by another pea. "Martha!" She was soon being pummeled by peas from all three directions.

"Go!" Heather Macnamara yelled.

“Fine, fine, quit it." Veronica stood up, brushing peas from her hair. She took a deep breath. "Fuck it.” Martha squealed as she began to walk to JDs table. JD did a double take as he saw Veronica approaching. 

"Veronica! Hey.“ He smiled widely. If the stunned looks on his friends faces were any indication, he had told them all about her. 

"Hey JD. Do you want to go to prom?" 

"Uh, yeah, sure." He shrugged, still smiling up at her. 

"Cool.” She shot him finger guns and walked away, her heart beating rapidly as she speed walked back to her table.


	8. JD & Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica and JD finally talk after prom

Veronica sat cross legged in her navy satin dress, hunched over one of JD’s feet as they both sat on the bed. He leaned back on his hands, his tie untied and draped around his neck, jacket strewn over a nearby chair, and pant legs rolled up to allow Veronica to paint his toenails black.

“Okay, so conclusions.”

“Prom:” Veronica laughed, “overrated.”

“Well, I had a life changing night, Veronica Sawyer. I mean, I learned so much about love.”

“Yup, and that it mostly involves grinding to Duran Duran.”

“And about decorating. I mean, who knew there were so many sizes and shapes of Christmas lights, and that they aren’t only for Christmas!”

“It was an eye opening experience. But don’t laugh anymore. I don’t need more nail polish on my sheets.”

JD watched her as she diligently worked, her carefully done up hair beginning to fall in strands in front of her face. 

“Veronica?”

“Hm?” She didn’t look up.

“I missed hanging out with you.”

She looked up. “Oh! Me too.”

“Even if it is, as usual, surrounded by idiots.”

“Aw, not everyone.”

“Yeah, not everyone.” He laughed and whispered, “most people.”

“Maybe, but they’re allowed to be. It's high school.”

“I'm so excited to be done.”

“Me too. I’ll get to meet so many people and leave this goddamn, empty town and learn things I actually want to learn. I can’t wait.”

“Me either. Although my plans are not exactly as well formed as yours."

“Do you know anything about what you’re going to do? Sorry, hate to ask that question.”

“No its okay. I don’t really know. Probably just work for a year then… maybe college? To be honest, I didn’t think I’d ever make it this far.” He half laughed and stared down into his lap.

“No, it’s awesome. I'm… happy you got this far.”

“Thanks.” He paused. “I can’t believe you are even agreeing to talk to me. I thought it was done. I thought I’d have to live without you.” He looked away. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She laughed quietly. “I believe there’s good in everyone, JD.”

“Just had to dig pretty deep to find it in me.”

“Shut up, JD.” She laughed and slapped his leg.

“Alright.” He grinned at her. “Can I just say one more thing?”

“I don’t know. Is it going to be really emo?”

“Kind of.”

“Fine, I guess.”

“You were the second person to ever care about me, Veronica. And the first to actually, you know, live through it. Thank you. And I’m sorry.”

“I know.”

She finished his toenails.

“Beautiful.”

“Do you want to do fingers too?” He sat up and held up his hands in front of her.

“You’re strangely compliant.”

“Veronica, you could paint my whole body if you wanted to.”

“Noted.”

She took one of his hands and placed it on her thigh to work on it. He continued to stare at her as he leaned forward, watching her work. She continued to pretend not to notice. 

“Veronica?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re beautiful.”

She looked up, so their faces were inches apart, and smirked. “You’ve told me.”

“Honestly, couldn’t ever be said enough.”

She moved quickly to kiss him, with barely open lips, just for a second. She pulled away, one hand still resting on his cheek. “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” He cupped her chin and brought her closer to kiss her, deep and long.

“Wait,” she murmured into his lips.

He pulled away and dropped his head into his hands. “Aw, fuck. I’m sorry, Veronica, I-”

“No! I just wanted to wait for the polish to dry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stay tuned, more chapters coming soon!


	9. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica makes a call to Martha in the middle of the night.

“Martha, I don’t know what to do, we had sex,” Veronica whispered into the phone in the darkness as she leaned against her headboard, the moonlight illuminating her still-uncovered skin. 

“What? Who?”

“Who do you think? JD! We went back to my house, I painted his toenails, we slept together.”

“Is he one of those? Veronica, I read about these guys who-”

“No Martha, it was platonic toe painting that turned sexual accidentally.”

"How do you accidentally go from toe painting to sex?" 

"I have no idea! But what do I do? I can't exactly preserve the "just friends" label now."

“One second, let me add Heather.”

“What?”

The line was silent for a second and then-

“Hello?” A tiny, groggy voice said into the phone.

“Heather?”

“She had sex, Heather!” Martha yelled.

“What? With who?”

“Oh my god, who did you see me with like three fucking hours ago.”

“JD?”

“Yeah!”

“One second,” Heather said, then disappeared off the line.

“Veronica, did you have sex with JD?” Heather Duke's voice was added into the call.

“Oh my god.”

“On prom night, classic,” Duke laughed.

“This wasn’t their first time, Heather,” Martha whispered.

“Yeah, I know, Martha. Still funny.”

“What do you think it means, just a hook up?” Macnamara asked.

“I don’t know, I mean, he stayed over.”

“What?” All three girls yelled.

“Sh!” Macnamara whispered, “Is he like, still in your bed?”

“Yup.” Veronica looked next to her at the naked JD, who was asleep under the covers with his mouth open. “Don’t worry, he’s a deep sleeper. I could punch him and he still wouldn’t wake up.”

“Ooh, do it,” Duke whispered.

“No, don’t!”

“Relax Martha, I’m not going to punch my unconscious boyfriend. Ah, shit. Is he my boyfriend?”

“Well, do you want him to be?” Macnamara asked.

“Ugh, I don’t even know. I miss him. And holy shit, the sex.”

“Veronica!”

“Sorry, Martha.”

“Is it really good?” Macnamara whispered.

Veronica sighed. “I had forgotten. The man can hold his breath like a whale.” The three girls giggled. “But I don’t know. Our relationship was amazing, and then it was- unbelievably difficult to say the least. It feels different now, definitely. He’s made so much progress. But I don’t know.”

“I don’t know either. It could be a bad idea,” Martha said, “Do people really change?”

“Sure they do,” Macnamara said. “Everyone’s fucked up during high school. You grow up, you get better.”

“He was pretty fucked up, Heather.”

“Fucked up beyond repair?”

“I don’t know. As a person, I don’t think so. I never thought so. But to be with him, fully, it kind of scares the crap out of me.”

“Well, Veronica, here’s the way I see it,” Duke said confidently, “You’re leaving in, what, four months? He might be leaving in less, you said, depending on if he goes with this dad. Fuck it, right? You've got an easy out if it gets too real. You can hang out with him and sleep with him, doesn’t mean you have to marry him.”

Everyone went silent, and the sound of JD’s deep breathing filled the room.

“I guess. Thanks guys. I’ll figure it out.” Veronica hung up the phone and crawled deeper under the warm covers with JD.


	10. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after.

Veronica woke up covered in a thin layer of sweat, half underneath her white comforter. There was a figure on the edge of her bed, putting on shoes. She sat up. JD turned around and smiled. 

“Good morning.” He reached towards her, picked up the edge of the comforter in her lap and handed it to her to cover, what she realized, was the top half of her naked body. She quickly grabbed it and clutched it to her chest.

“Hey.” She rubbed her eyes with her other hand. “What time is it?” 

“Five twenty-six.”

“Jesus christ.” Veronica fell back down onto her bed. “Why so early?”

“If I get back home when my dad is sober enough to wake up at my entrance, he’s going to ask a lot of questions that I do not want to answer.” He turned back to his shoes. “I figured that its best not to let him know about us right now, considering how he acted last time. What do you think?”

She lifted her head onto her hand to look at him. “Uh, yeah.”

JD stood up and picked up his suit jacket off Veronica’s desk chair and put it on. He searched the floor for his tie and stuffed it in his pocket. 

“Gonna look weird walking home dressed like a game show host.” He looked down at his wrinkled tuxedo and laughed. “Maybe I should actually leave some clothes here this time.” He walked over to Veronica and kissed her on the forehead. “Bye, babe.”

He opened the door and turned back to smile at her one last time before gently shutting it. She stared at the door. 

She let her head fall back to hit her headboard. “Ah, shit.”


	11. Veronica

Monday morning came and Veronica spent the day avoiding JD, glad that she had never been able to forget his class schedule. But now it was lunch. He would know something was up if he didn’t see her. As she walked (far slower than necessary and therefore receiving dirty looks from the rest of the students who rushing to the cafeteria), she spotted a cloud of blonde hair and a bright yellow blazer between people in the crowded hallway. 

“Heather!” she yelled far too loudly.

Heather turned around and smiled. Veronica waved for her to come meet her in a cutout for a door in the hallway. Heather moved through the sea of people to meet her.

“I don’t know what to do about JD, Heather. He’s being all relationship-y! I came home last night and there were flowers on my bed. I don't even know who let him into my house!”

“Aw!”

“No, Heather, not aw. I don’t even know what I want!”

“Do you still love him? Are you not happy when you’re with him?”

“Ugh, no, Heather, I am, but God." Veronica dropped her face into her hands. "Once we started saying we loved each other, being serious, that's when everything went bad.”

“Talk to him!”

“No, he’s made so much progress, if I tell him I’m scared then he’ll think I’m scared of him. It’ll crush him.”

“Well, Veronica, we need to eat. Talk to him or pretend you don’t see him. I’m hungry. It’s decision time.”

Veronica groaned quietly and considered her options for a few seconds.

“Oh my god.” Heather grabbed her arm and pulled her towards the cafeteria.

“No! Heather! Let me go!” They arrived at the cafeteria. Veronica scanned the room as her heartbeat quickened. She saw no tall, all-black figure in the crowd. “He’s not here.”

“Thats weird. See, nothing to even worry about. Let’s go get food.”

A bad feeling filled Veronica’s stomach as they walked to the lunch line. It worsened throughout the period until the bell rang. There was no sign of JD.


	12. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica investigates JD's disappearance.

She knocked on the door, her chest tight. It swung open to reveal a tall, mustached man in sweatpants and a white tank top.

He took a moment to look at Veronica, then stuck out a finger to point at her. “Veronica, is it?" He grinned. "Nice to see you, girlie. Come in.”

“Oh, no, I have to go soon, Mr. Dean. I was just wondering if JD was here?”

“Oh are you two kids getting back into things? The boy was crushed when it ended. I was disappointed too, little miss.”

“No, we’re not. Could I just talk to him?”

“Probably best if you don’t, the boy's real sick.” He shook his head slightly. 

“Oh. Um, tell him I hope he feels better.” Veronica began to turn away to head back to her car. 

“Sure you don’t want to stay, Ronnie? We’ve got the downstairs to ourselves.”

“No, I really have to go. Thanks, Mr. Dean.”

She hopped down the front steps, feeling Big Bud Dean's eyes on her as she walked to her car. The knot in her stomach worsened. She got into her car and started it. She watched the living room through the windows as she slowly crept forward along the curb. Then, once she saw Big Bud Dean disappear into the kitchen, she took the key out of the car and climbed out. She ran to the back of the house and climbed the fence. Once she reached the window, she indeed saw JD collapsed on his bed. She, perched on the top of the fence, tapped on the window. He sat up quickly. Once he saw her in the window, he smiled, got up to open the window, and helped her off of the fence and into his room.

“Hey,” she whispered, “your dad told me you were sick. Are you okay?”

“Oh, yeah,” he whispered, “I’m fine. He uh- he locked me in here.” JD laughed and ran his hand through his hair.

“What?”

“Yup, slight miscalculation on my part." He nodded solemnly. "He was sleeping on the couch, so he did not need to be that sober to wake up when I got there. He was all angry and hungover and when I wouldn’t tell him where I was, he locked me in here as punishment. You got any water?”

“He didn’t give you any water?” Veronica whisper-yelled. 

“I’m fine. At least he’s leaving me alone.” He laughed. “I’m glad to see you, though.” He leaned down to kiss her and she pulled away.

“JD, this is horrible. We need to get you out.”

“No, Veronica, it’ll just make things worse, trust me. I just need some water, maybe food, and, of course, you back once the old man falls asleep.”

She paused and looked around. “Um, okay. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry, Veronica." He placed a hand on her cheek. "I’ve been dealing with this stuff for seven years. He’ll be gone soon anyway.” He took his hand away and shrugged.

“JD!”

“No, I mean he’s going to Delaware soon. And I’m staying. At least for a little while.”

“Really? You want to stay here?”

“I mean, I’ve got you, what else do I need?”

She smiled slightly. “Alright. I’ll get you some food and water. Be right back.” She turned back to his window.

“Wait, Veronica.”

“Yeah?”

He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. His lips were dry and chapped.

“I’ll see you soon, JD.”

“Can’t wait.”


	13. JD & Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica returns to JD's house late at night.

Veronica lied on top of JD, her arms wrapped around his waist and her head on his bare chest, listening to the crickets outside and his heartbeat against her ear. The room was dark, lit only by the rectangle of moonlight streaming through the open window onto the bed along with the occasional, long-awaited breeze.

"Christ is it hot,” Veronica muttered into his rib cage.

JD removed one of his legs from under hers and kicked the blankets off of them. 

“I could also just stop lying on you," she said. "You’re like a radiator." 

"Please don’t,” he whispered into her hair, where his mouth and nose were buried, breathing in the scent of her strawberry shampoo. 

"I won’t.“ 

They sat in silence for another minute, their breath in sync. 

"I’m so lucky to have you. I never want to let you go." JD wrapped his arms tighter around Veronica.

"JD.” Veronica let go of him, rolled off of him, and moved to sit on the side of his bed. 

“What? What’s wrong?" He sat up, leaning against his bedroom wall. 

"I can’t do this." The air was still.

He looked down into his lap. "Oh." 

She put her face in her hands and immediately continued. "I can’t be your everything again, JD. I still love you and- God it’s so frustrating- I feel us getting back to where we used to be." 

JD leaned forward, trying to make eye contact, but Veronica just lifted her head and stared forward. "Veronica, It’s not going to ever be like that again. I’m not that guy anymore." 

"JD, neither were you before you met me." 

"What? Do you think it was your fault?" Veronica shrugged. "It wasn’t. I already had… a lot of issues. The only reason it happened that way was because... I loved you so much that I, ya know, felt like I needed to protect you before you vanished.”

“What if you love me that much again? Will we head right down that same path?" 

"It’s not like I ever stopped loving you that much!" He dropped his voice to a whisper again. "I promise, it’s different now. Please, don’t go." He placed one hand on her shoulder and she shrugged it off.

"Why not? I don’t want you to need me here to survive." She finally turned to look at him.

"I survived, Veronica! I survived months without you! And years before you. I know how to live in this shithole place with my asshole father, I can do it without you. Is it really that bad that I don’t want to?" He paused. "Do you want to live without me either?" His eyes bore into her, his mouth slightly open, brow furrowed. 

"I want to be able to." She returned to staring blankly in front of her. "Look, JD, the plan was always to go to college and leave high school behind. I’m going, I’m finally doing it, I’m getting out of here. And I’m going to be honest, you made high school even harder to get over. How can I ever do it if I bring my past with me everywhere I go? And worse, what if it repeats itself? I know I’m not making a lot of sense, I’m sorry." 

JD lookwd down at the empty space in his bed that Veronica left. “So is that it? We can’t be together because you can’t be around me? Are you scared of me?”

"No! I don’t think so. I don’t know exactly what I’m saying. And I’m not trying to hurt you.” She turned to place her hand on his face. “It’s not you that I’m scared of. It’s just, I’ve finally stopped seeing Heather and Kurt and Ram. And I’m terrified that the closer I get to you, the quicker our past will catch up." 

Even the crickets seemed to go silent. 

"I love you so much, Veronica.” He stared at the hand stroking his cheek, his voice desperate. 

“I love you too.” She laughed quietly. “And it really sucks because I want to stay." 

They stayed like this in silence for a few moments. "Go home, Veronica. I’ll survive while you’re gone. And if you want, come back. I’ll be here. Not waiting. But also not going anywhere.” He half-smiled at her. She leaned down, paused, and kissed his forehead before disappearing out the open window.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry


	14. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> High school is over for Veronica. Finally.

Veronica looked over her body, draped in shiny blue fabric, in Heather Macnamara’s full body mirror.

“I bet one thousand dollars that I’m going to trip and fall,” Veronica said.

“Why are you betting against yourself?” Macnamara laughed, appearing behind her in the same long robe.

“Maybe you should pick some shorter heels,” Heather Duke shouted from the bathroom.

“Eh, might as well go down in style.” Veronica shrugged and walked away from the mirror to sit on Heather's window seat. 

“You all look beautiful, guys,” Martha said, tears already welling in her eyes.

“No, Martha, we agreed no crying until pictures! Mascara!” Heather fanned Martha’s eyes.

“I know, sorry!” Martha said, blinking quickly.

“Okay guys, I think I’m ready.” Heather Duke emerged from the bathroom, eyeliner fully done.

“Yay!” Martha pulled a polaroid camera from her backpack, placed it on a tall stool, and set the self timer. 

Veronica stood and walked further forward in front of the window, where the other girls were lining up in full graduation gear with their arms around each other.

“I wish Heather were here,” Heather Macnamara whispered to herself.

Veronica’s stomach twisted.

“No, Heather, we’re not doing that,” Heather Duke said. Veronica felt Duke's hand rubbing Macnamara's shoulder comfortingly as she wrapped her arm around her. 

“Okay, okay.” Heather Macnamara took a deep breath and smiled as the flash went off. 

Martha ran to the camera to pick up the blank photo that rolled out of the camera.

“Alright, we should really go,” Heather Duke said, grabbing her purse.

The girls climbed into Heather’s Jeep that was waiting outside, Veronica in the backseat with Martha. She watched her friends as they sang along to some pop song on the radio, surprised at her own sentimentality. 

They arrived at the graduation, went through the practice run, and waved to their parents as they entered an hour and a half later. Veronica even awkwardly waved back at JD’s dad, who was sitting in the very back row, grinning at her. They sat through the long ceremony, sweating under their heavy gowns and the blazing sun. Veronica didn’t trip. 

Veronica, Heather, Heather, and Martha hugged their acquaintances, fully aware that they probably would not speak to them again until their ten year reunion. After saying goodbye to their parents, they began to leave to head to an afterparty. Veronica paused at the gate. 

“Wait, I’ll just be a second, guys.” 

Veronica turned and walked quickly, determined to ride the short wave of adrenaline coursing through her body from entering adulthood forty minutes ago.

“JD!” she yelled, far louder than necessary.

He turned from his dad, who was grabbing his shoulder tightly and laughing, looking relieved at the chance to escape. He walked away quickly, gently leading Veronica away by the shoulder.

“Hey, Veronica. What's up?”

“Hey." They arrived at an empty corner of the field and faced each other. "I wanted to say bye.”

“Oh yeah, me too. Bye Veronica, I hope things work out well for you.” He smiled and nodded slightly. They stood further apart then usual, with an uncomfortable aura of stiff formality. 

“What’s going on with you? Any ideas?”

“Oh, yeah. I’m leaving for Boston in two weeks, actually.” 

“What?” She dropped her polite-small-talk face. 

“Yeah,” He laughed, running his hand through his hair. “It happened sort of quickly. After, you know, the thing that happened last month, I thought, I need a plan. I can’t just keep waiting. I mean, that’s what I promised you. And I liked Boston, you know, the six weeks we were there.”

“So you’re just… moving?”

“I mean, I got a job and an apartment and stuff. Not particularly good ones, but you know. I’m going to wash dishes and have like five roommates and do my time. Make something of myself.”

“Wow. Okay. Nice, I’m excited for you.”

“I’m excited too. New adventures, right?”

“Right.”

They stayed silent for a moment as JD looked over the field, which had, since the traumatic last time they were on it, been re-filled with soil and covered with new grass and white wooden chairs. Veronica stared at him, taking in his face, fearing it was the last time. His skin was deeper brown, new freckles scattered over his cheeks.

She broke the silence. “I should go, my friends are waiting for me. Are you coming to the party tonight?”

He turned to face her again and shrugged. “Never really my thing. You know that.”

“I don’t know, you went to Prom.”

“Yeah. I guess I did.” He laughed, turning back to watch the people talk and laugh.

Veronica paused for a moment, quickly checking the exit, where her friends still waited, doubling over laughing about something. She turned around and wrapped her arms around his waist. He jumped slightly and raised his arms while he looked down at her.

“Bye, JD.”

He let his arms fall and wrapped them around her, closing his eyes and resting his chin on her head. She tried to memorize the rhythm of his heartbeat, the warmth of his chest.

“Goodbye, Veronica.”

They stayed like that for a few moments longer than was probably appropriate, before JD moved his arms to her shoulders, and she reluctantly pulled away from him. He took his arms away. She waved slightly and turned around. He watched her as she half-ran-half-skipped back to her friends, her strawberry-scented curls bouncing away behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for sticking with me as I roll out this mess of a story. I promised you both fluff and angst and I will certainly deliver on both. I hope you guys are enjoying it :)


	15. JD

JD taped shut the last box of his minimal possessions. He picked it up and put it by the door on top of two others and turned around to survey his near-empty room. He walked to the small black suitcase in the center of it.

His dad was mailing him the boxes to his new address, an apartment he had never seen before. He just responded to some ad in a newspaper that he had ordered for the sole purpose of finding some shitty apartment in a city two thousand miles away. He couldn’t wait. 

He grabbed the pair of jeans he hadn’t packed (although he only had two) and two solid black shirts and threw them in. He walked to the bathroom to get his toothbrush, and there was the problem he had been putting off dealing with. 

“Two slushies. Bad movie marathon. Tonight.”

“I haven’t seen you in 2 hours. I miss you,”

“That annoying kid in chem who is always snapping girls’ bras just slammed his hand in a locker and actually went home because of it. I nearly cried. I wish you were there. Call me tonight.”

The multi-colored post-its covered his mirror, varying in similarity to the real Veronica Sawyer’s handwriting. He wasn’t quite as skilled at forgery as the girl he was imitating. Lately, he’d been filled with self hatred every time he saw them, although he hadn’t been able to take them down. They were lies (except the guy getting his hand caught in the locker, that was actually true and actually hilarious). 

He threw his toothbrush in his suitcase on top of the clothes and returned to the bathroom. He took a deep breath and began to peel the notes off of the mirror, one by one. He crumpled them up and threw the ball in the trash. His stomach hurt. 

He walked over to the thing he’d been really dreading and slid it out from underneath his bed. He opened the shoebox after listening carefully to see if his dad was coming. He would crucify him if he knew about it. The box was half filled with various pieces of paper: pictures of his mother and him that he had salvaged before his Dad threw it all away two days after the funeral, birthday cards signed by her, polaroids with Veronica, polaroids of Veronica (some innocent, some not so much), library cards from every city he’d been to, the cut out yearbook picture of the book club, Veronica’s cut out yearbook picture, ripped out pages from poetry books he didn’t buy, the real post-it-notes, his prom ticket. 

He shut the box and put it into his suitcase. He reached under his bed again and pulled out the books that he’d been reading: War of the Worlds and Of Mice and Men. He threw them in. He zipped the suitcase shut, stood, and took a last look over his bare bedroom. The whole house, including the furniture, was all rented. His room was just a desk and a creaky twin bed. Stripped down, it looked like a prison cell. He hoped that the owners wouldn’t look at the window lock until he was already long gone. 

He pulled the suitcase out of the room and down the stairs. His father was sitting in the living room, watching a baseball game. 

“All packed up.”

Big Bud Dean muted the game and turned to face JD.

“Gee Dad, I sure am going to miss you while I'm so far away,” he said, adopting the playful voice they usually used.

JD paused. “The boxes are upstairs in my room. Allen’s going to be here soon to pick me up.”

“Alright. Why don’t you give your old man a hug?”

JD walked over to him as he stood. His dad wrapped his arms around him and slapped his back. He squeezed him for a solid 20 seconds, probably the longest contact they had had since elementary school. JD lifted his arms slightly. 

He pulled away and placed his arms on JD’s shoulders. “You take care now. I’ll be in Delaware blowing some shithole theater to smithereens if you need me.” He laughed. JD smiled. They stood this way for a few moments, Big Bud Dean staring into his sons eyes.

Someone honked outside.

“That’s me, Dad, gotta go.” Big Bud Dean said, giving JD one last slap on the shoulder.

JD imitated his father's voice. “Bye, son. See you later.” He walked to the front door and opened it. 

“I am going to miss you, son," Big Bud Dean said. JD turned around. “Believe it or don’t.”

He was smiling. He looked lighter than JD had ever seen him. JD ignored the weight in his stomach and nodded slightly before shutting the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, I did not realize these chapters were sad when I first wrote them. I'm sorry guys.


	16. Veronica

Veronica spent her last summer of childhood appreciating true adolescent stupidity. She had sleepovers with Martha and the Heathers, practicing preparing fruity drinks for college (which always came out too bitter or sickly sweet, but they drank them anyway until they were all a giggling puddle on someone’s kitchen floor). She stayed up all night, went on long walks at dawn, and returned home to sleep through the rest of the day. She reread all of her favorite childhood books in one day, watched soap operas, and drank so much coca cola that she was certain she must have been melting from the inside. She skinny dipped in the lake and ended up having to chase the cackling Heathers through the woods naked to get her clothes back. She made out with a boy she didn’t really like in his car and looked back on it with laughter rather than regret. She gave Heather her scrunchie back, leaving it on the stone above her beautiful head. She cried, then wrote in her diary, then danced to too loud music, then cried again, and felt a thousand times lighter. She wore sundresses.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did anyone ask for a one paragraph chapter? No? Okay.


	17. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica attempts to be normal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a bit of a time skip here. Veronica is a few months into college.

“C’mon Veronica! You do NOT need to study on a Saturday.” Emma leaned against the doorframe of their bedroom while Veronica opened her drawers to pull out a matching set of purple polka-dot pajamas. 

“Emma, you made me go out last night. Tonight is pajamas, popcorn, and a book.” 

“Wait, are you not even reading for class? That makes it sadder. It’ll be fun, maybe that guy from European Lit will be there…”

Veronica paused before taking off the modest cardigan she had been wearing for Economics 101. She had been attempting to become more social, and the last time she opted out of a party, it was only to discover the next day that the fist fight of the century had occurred and the dean's nephew streaked through fraternity row. “Ugh, okay, fine. But 11:30 is curfew tonight.”

Emma squealed. “Wear something blue. You look cute in blue.” She turned and disappeared in a wave of blonde hair. 

*****************************************************************************************************************************************************

Emma was dancing in a pool of colored lights, pressed skin to skin with a stranger. Veronica watched her from the sidelines, vision slightly blurred from the 2 (3?) jello shots she had ingested. 

“What do you think you’re going to study?” a voice yelled over the bass that filled the air around them.

She turned back to look at the guy smiling at her. His name, she had discovered that night after 2 months of sitting three rows ahead of him, was Aaron.

“I have no idea. Honestly, my strategy was kind of take some stuff that seems interesting and figure it out on the way.”

“Well, what do you find interesting?”

“I like writing. And history sometimes.”

“Journalism maybe? Writing, and it’s like history, but current.”

“Huh, maybe.” She smiled at him. 

"It doesn't really matter. Chances are, we'll change our mind about what we want to do three times throughout our lives. Might as well just live for now."

"Exactly."

“Sorry, I forgot where you said you were from.”

“I didn’t.” She laughed. He looked at her for a moment, expecting her to continue. She didn't. 

“Fair enough.”

They fell silent, watching people dance around them.

“Do you want to dance?” He held out his hand in front of her.

“Actually, it’s kind of my bedtime.” She pushed off of the wall she was leaning on and gestured to the door. 

“Oh, do you want me to walk you to your dorm?”

“Yeah, or you could just come with me inside it.”

“Oh, okay.” He looked mildly started. 

“Sorry, was that forward? I might be a little drunk.” 

“No, you’re good.” He laughed.

“One second, let me just tell my friends I’m leaving.”

She walked over to Emma and tapped her on the shoulder. She separated herself from the guy she was dancing with and turned to face Veronica.

“I’m kind of in the middle of something, Sawyer,” she said, tilting her head towards the tall, burly guy behind her, who continued to sway on his own. 

“Just letting you know I’m leaving,” Veronica dropped her voice to a whisper, “with a guy.”

Emma gasped. “Shut up, who?”

Veronica turned around and scanned the crowd. She pointed to the dirty blonde sophomore standing by the door.

“Him.”

“Holy shit, Sawyer. Nice catch. I can't believe you're getting laid before me tonight. You’re the worst. Have a good time. Love you,” Emma kissed Veronica’s cheek and went back to her companion. 

Veronica returned to Aaron and they walked out together. As the door closed behind them, reducing the music to a faint thudding, the night became silent. They walked through the fallen leaves piled on the sidewalk to Veronica’s dorm, stepping on them to listen to them crunch. They walked close enough to occasionally bump shoulders. 

"It’s just a little bit further.” 

They reached her dorm and took the elevator up to the 9th floor before reaching Veronica’s room. 

"Nice place."

"Yeah, I thought so. I think Emma's dad like, donated a building or something. Maybe saved the dean's life. I don't know."

“When do you think she’ll be coming home?”

“Not until late. She has far more stamina than I.” 

“Perfect.” 

He pulled Veronica by the wrist before placing his hand on her waist and pressing her against the kitchen counter, kissing her and running his hands down her body. She reciprocated, placing her hands on his chest.

“Bedroom?” he whispered. 

She grabbed his hand and led him to her room. They both collapsed on her twin bed, which groaned in response. He ran his hands up her thighs, lifting up her skirt. 

“Lace? I didn’t think you had it in you, Sawyer,” a feminine voice said from somewhere next to the bed. She sat up quickly. 

“Emma?” She searched the room, listening closely for any movement. All was still.

“What, did you hear something?” Aaron whispered as he lifted his mouth from her collarbone. 

“Oh, no. It’s fine.” 

He went back to kissing her. 

“It must be nice not having to check if that’s a gun pressed up against your leg, huh?” the voice said again. 

She gasped and pushed Aaron off of her. She scanned her empty room. 

“What’s wrong Veronica? You’re freaking me out.” 

“Sorry. It’s fine.” She smiled at him. “Just thought I heard something, but I guess I was imagining it.” 

Aaron began kissing her neck. She leaned back on her headboard and closed her eyes. 

“These freaking college guys, dude. Why do girls always wanna fuck the guys who know like, Shakespeare or whatever?” 

Veronica’s eyes snapped open to see Ram and Kurt sitting on her desk, legs spread, watching the scene on the bed unfold. 

“Wow. Good little Veronica Sawyer, slutting it up in the dorm room,” Heather Chandler whispered in her ear. Veronica jumped.

“No!” Veronica pushed Aaron off her. “Not again!” 

“Veronica! What is going on?” Aaron stood up, eyes wide.

“Aw dude, she didn’t even take her bra off yet!” Kurt yelled from the desk, throwing his arms up. 

“I’m sorry Aaron. You need to leave. I’m so sorry.” She put her head in her hands.

“Are you okay?” 

“Please, Aaron, go.” 

He grabbed his jacket and rushed out the door, leaving Veronica alone with her ghosts. 

“And Veronica’s lady cave remains a psychopath only zone,” Heather sang. 

“Fuck! No. This can’t be happening again. I left. I got away.” Veronica leaned against the headboard, tears brewing in her eyes. 

“You think you can just leave us in Sherwood, Veronica? You don’t get to get away from us, you killed us.” Heather sat down on Veronica’s bed. 

“I didn’t. I didn’t.” Veronica shook her head, still in her hands.

“You can’t just go to your nice little life at your nice little college and pretend to be someone else. This is who you are Veronica, you’ve always known it.” 

“Leave, leave.” 

“No. You’re alive, Veronica. That means you have to deal with the shit you started.” 

“I didn’t kill you, Heather! Or them. I didn’t.” 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night, honey.” 

Veronica jumped up, grabbed her backpack and keys and ran out of her room. 

“Fine, run. We’ll be here when you get back!” Heather shouted at her. 

Veronica kept running until her lungs were burning: down the stairs, through the door, onto the sidewalk. Then she walked. Her heart was beating against her rib cage. She walked for ten minutes, or maybe an hour, her thoughts racing. 

She reached the main street, where she had been to restaurants and been snuck into bars by her older friends. She spotted a pay phone and picked it up without thinking. She considered calling her mom, or Martha, but what would she say? She stood, listening to the dial tone, for a few moments.

She put down the pay phone and squatted to look through her backpack. She pulled out the letter she had received weeks ago. It was still buried deep in her backpack. 

“Hey, Veronica. Your mom gave me your new address. Here’s the phone number for my new place if you want to call. Oh, and I’m working at a place called Pete’s Diner if you want to call there. -JD” Beneath the note was a phone number in the same slanted handwriting. 

“He probably won’t even be awake,” she thought as she put in coins and dialed the number. 

The phone rang, and rang, until it stopped. He wasn’t awake. She looked back at the note and picked up the phone again. “Hello, I need the number for Pete’s Diner in Boston.” 

The phone rang three times. 

“Hello?” a gruff voice answered. 

“Hi, is there a JD there?” 

“Nope.” 

“Are you sure? He works there. Dark hair, dark skin, freckles. He’s a dishwasher, I think.” 

“Jason?” 

“Yes!” 

“Oh, yeah. You wanna talk to him?”

She stayed silent while she thought. 

“I'm not gettin' any younger here, kid. You want to talk to him or not?” 

“Yes please.” 

The voice on the other end sighed. “Jason? Phone!” 

“What?” She heard a familiar voice shout in the distance. “Is it my dad?” 

“No it’s some girl.” 

There was a moment of silence except for the clanging of the kitchen. 

"Hello?” 

“You’re working late.” 

“Veronica?” 

“Yeah, hey.” 

“What’s up? It’s late.” 

“I know." She paused. "Jason?” 

“I figured I’d try something different. I found that I still prefer JD, but it’s too late now to go back. Is everything okay?” 

She paused. “No, JD. It’s not." She took a deep breath. "I can’t do this. I thought I got away. I can’t get away.” 

“What happened, Veronica?” Worry filled his voice. 

“I saw them again.” She heard him sigh on the other end of the line.

“Oh, Veronica.” 

“They came back because I forgot about them. I was happy. I forgot to feel guilty. I can’t forget.”

"They’re not real, Veronica.” 

“I know but-”

“Believe me. I know how real they seem. I know. But they aren’t. It’s your subconscious trying to deal with shit its tired of dealing with alone. You don’t need to feel guilty.” 

“I killed them too JD. I’ve been trying to just blame you, but I was there. I know how bullets work. I know to check which cup is which if one has drain cleaner in it. You were right. I believed what I wanted to believe. I mean, I’m either an idiot or a murderer.” 

“I would go for idiot then.” 

“JD.” 

"Look, Veronica. I’m not an expert at morality, so maybe you did fuck up. But why does that mean you have to feel guilty? What the fuck does it matter? They’re dead, Veronica.” He began to whisper. “They’re dead and you're alive. We can’t change that, even if we really want to. So who does it help to feel guilty? Not them, and certainly not you.” 

She stayed silent for a moment. “Do you ever feel guilty?” she whispered. 

“I didn’t for a while. Then I felt bad for hurting you. Now I’m starting to… feel what I should.” He paused. “But my guilt is productive, Veronica. I need it.” 

“I can’t go back to my room, JD. I can’t see them again.” 

“If they’re still there, just flip them off or something. They’re figments of your imagination anyway. Then go to sleep, go to class, and go see a therapist while you’re still on your parents health insurance, okay?” 

She half laughed, then said quietly, “I can’t do this forever, JD. Living like this.” 

“What’s your other option? Go forward, or just lie down and die. But in the end, that's just another person that's dead.

She chewed on her lip. “Okay.” 

“I have to get back to work. Thank you for calling me." He was silent for a moment. "You’re alive Veronica, act like it.” 

He hung up the phone, leaving her alone with the passing cars and the sidewalk back to her newly haunted dorm.


	18. Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Veronica goes on a date.

Veronica sat on her bed and leaned against the wall, considering whether or not to attempt to take a nap. She reached into her bag and pulled out her notes. Normally neat and written in brightly colored pens with neatly drawn diagrams, they were sloppy, mostly a confusing set of phrases that she picked up from the lecture while trying to ignore Kurt and Ram singing AC/DC behind her. Veronica felt tears welling up in her eyes as she attempted to force down the panic rising in her throat. 

"Aw, must be so hard for you Veronica, being alive and all. Do you want a tissue?” Heather said as she leaned against Veronica’s desk. 

Veronica got up and changed into her pajamas. She then walked to the bathroom and knocked on the door. 

"Hey Emma, could I borrow your notes from class today?“ 

Emma opened the door, halfway through putting in an earring. 

"Ugh, I hate this bitch,” Heather groaned. 

“Yeah, I’ll give them to you in- what are you wearing?" 

"What does it look like?" 

"Veronica, did you forget?" 

"Forget what?" 

"Veronica! I set up a date for you with a cute guy and you just-" 

"Ah, shit. Sorry Emma, I kind of have a lot on my mind." 

"Don’t we all.” Emma pushed past her into the living room. “I’m going out. You better get dressed quickly to meet Josh at 6. I don’t know how many more times I can try to do CPR on your love life." 

"Yeah, sorry, Emma. Have a good time.” Emma smiled and rolled her eyes before walking out the door. 

Veronica groaned loudly and returned to their room to search through her closet. She eventually picked out a skirt and blouse and threw it on. She went into the bathroom and looked in the mirror. 

“Oh, god." 

"Well, maybe he likes the fresh out of rehab look,” Heather taunted.

Veronica’s hair was tangled and slightly greasy, dark bags hanging underneath her eyes. She got out Emma’s dry shampoo and sprayed it into her hair until her roots were white, then brushed through her hair. She then got out her makeup (and some of Emma’s) and attempted to make it look as though she was not dying of polio. She stared at the completed project. Artificial, not exactly beautiful, but close enough to indicate she might have been at some point. 

“Hm. Makeup really was never your forte." 

She grabbed her keys and left with barely enough time to make it to the restaurant she was supposed to meet Emma’s friend at. She stumbled in, slightly out of breath, and searched around the white-covered tables and dessert carts for her date before it hit her that she had no idea what he even looked like. 

"Hey!" a voice said behind her.

She spun around to see a man standing behind her, just having arrived moments after her.

"Oh! Josh?" 

"Yeah, you’re Veronica, right? Emma told me what you looked like, but she didn’t say how beautiful.” He smiled at her and placed his hand on the small of her back, leading her to a table in the corner of the restaurant. 

"Oh! Alright, thanks.“ 

He was tall, light brunette, somewhat handsome, with very white teeth. He was also wearing pastel shorts. 

"Most guys like to take girls to bars or whatever. I think you should take a girl to a nice restaurant. Especially when she looks like you." 

She laughed as they took their seats. "I’m actually only 18, I couldn’t get into a bar anyway." 

"Eh, there are ways around that. Speaking of, want a drink?" 

"Um, well-” He raised his eyebrows expectantly at her. “Sure, why not?" 

"Great.” He waved over a waiter. “Can I get a beer and white wine for her? Something nice.” He winked at the waiter. 

“So, Veronica. Tell me about yourself. Where you from?" 

"Um, I’m from a small town call Sherwood in Ohio." 

"Wow, I’ve never even been to Ohio. I think the flyover states are fascinating. We’re people in your town very conservative?" 

"Pretty conservative, yeah." 

"Fascinating. It’s because of the poverty. Republicans tend to take advantage of the lack of education to make them believe in trickle down economics and these other economic policies that never actually do any good for the people, you know? Sorry, you’re not an Econ major, must be terribly boring to you." 

"Well, I don’t know I-” The drinks came. 

“I grew up in New York. Not the city, unfortunately. I really miss it. Have you ever been?”

“Just when I was touring colleges. Didn’t see much of it.”

“You should see more. Best state, without a doubt.”

“Huh.” Veronica began to drink her wine. “Wow, this is good. What is it?”

“Let’s see.” He reached across the table and took a sip of her wine. “Pinot Grigio. Venetian, I’d guess.”

“Can you really tell that from tasting it?”

“Most of the time, yeah.”

“How?”

“My father trained me well. Do you like wine?”

“Well, the most expensive alcohol I’ve had is grocery store Jalepeño-Lime Vodka in a plastic bottle. So, I don’t really know.”

“Wow. You have a lot to learn, Veronica.”

****************************************************************************************************************************************

“Heyyy you’re at home!” 

“Um, yeah. Is this Veronica?” 

“You guessed it, boy.” 

“Is everything okay?” 

“Yup.” 

“Why are you calling me?” 

“Figured I’d make an, uh, bad decision ya know.” 

“Are you drunk?” 

“Heather is still here,” Veronica whispered. “So shhh.” 

“Heather can’t know you called me?” 

Veronica continued to whisper. “She’d say it’s because I still like you or whatever. But I don’t. I went on a date today.” 

“Oh.” 

“But he wore very... colorful shorts. But he was really nice he bought me wine. Like nice wine. Niiice wine.” 

“Jesus, is he still there?” 

“No. He was very loud. Just talk talk talk talk…” Veronica went on like this for a while. 

“Who’s on the phone, JD?” one of his roommates asked.

“That girl I was telling you about.” 

“Oh, nice, man.” 

“Um, not really.” 

“JD?” 

“Yeah Veronica?” 

“Oh, I thought you left. How are you? How is JD?” 

“I’m good, Veronica.” 

“That’s good. I’m sleepy.” 

“Why don’t you go to sleep?” 

“Heather doesn’t let me.” 

“Can you make Heather leave?” 

“Sometimes if I ignore her very long she gets bored and goes but then she comes back. She didn’t come on my date.” 

“Did you call a therapist, Veronica?” 

Veronica groaned loudly.

“Veronica, come on.” 

“I don’t want to. I don’t want to be an adult and make doctors appointments and spend 40 dollars on wine. Forty! Jesus.”

“Promise me you’ll call one, Veronica.” She groaned again. “Promise.”

“Fine.”

There was a pause.

“Um, so this guy." JD stared at his free hand in his lap. "Do you like him?”

“He was nice. And smart and stuff. I don’t know.”

“Do you want to see him again?”

“Eh, I don’t know.”

“We don’t have to talk about this. How is school?”

“Duuude. We just read books and then we talk about them. You would love it.”

“That’s great. I’m actually thinking about trying the whole college thing next year.”

“Really? Wow. You realize you’ll have to socialize right?” She snorted.

“I have three roommates, Veronica, I’ve kind of been thrown in the deep end already.”

“Look at us. All grown up.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Oh, I read Slaughterhouse Five for class, by the way. I thought of you.” She laughed.

“Thoughts?”

“Dude book. But it was interesting.”

“So, I was right?”

“Are you ever?”

Without either of them entirely realizing, they kept talking. Veronica told him about her history professor, who threw a chair at a kid when he admitted to not doing the reading. JD told her about breaking up a fight between two customers at the diner when he was working the midnight shift. Veronica complained about her roommate, who brought home guys who ate all of her cereal in the morning. JD complained about his roommates, who were all struggling artist types who had recently painted a large, green-skinned George H.W. Bush on the living room wall. Veronica laughed, interspersed with snorts and hiccups. JD found he missed drunk Veronica almost as much as sober Veronica. He was in the middle of telling her the story of the time he went to a Harvard frat party and got so drunk that he, at some point, stole a $400 special edition copy of Metamorphosis from someones room, when he noticed Veronica breathing deeply on the other end of the line.

“Veronica?”

The breathing continued. She said nothing. He placed the phone back in its cradle. The living room was dark and silent except for the ambient noise of passing cars on the streets below. He looked at the clock on the table beside the couch. It was 3:29 am. He had to be up for work in an hour and a half. He got up and moved to the kitchen to make himself coffee. He leaned against the cold tile of the countertop, listening to the water trickle through the coffee grounds. He smiled as he imagined Veronica sleeping with the phone still pressed against her face. 

The ache in his chest returned. How did he do it, before he met her?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I know, it has been approximately 1 million years. I have not given up on this fic! Hope y'all are doing well. Thanks for sticking with me. :)


	19. Veronica

Veronica heard the door slam behind her as she entered the hallway. Emma stood up from the bench she had been sitting on. 

“Jesus, Veronica, what did the door do to you?”

“I’m failing. I’ve never failed a class in my life and now I’m failing three. I can't believe this.” Veronica stared ahead, eyes glazed over and brow furrowed. 

“Ever heard of Karma?” Heather said, standing behind the two living girls.

“Jeez, Veronica. Okay, It’s going to be okay. You can get a tutor.” Emma put a perfectly manicured hand on Veronica’s shoulder, patting it in a weak attempt to be comforting. She gently guided Veronica to begin walking towards the door. 

“It doesn’t matter. I’m going to flunk out and I’m going to never get a job and I’m going to be homeless. Or worse- oh god- I’m going to have to move back in with my parents. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fu-”

Emma stood in front of Veronica and grabbed both of her shoulders. “Veronica! Get your shit together. This is going to be fine. You’re going to pull it together and stop being such a pillowcase, okay?” Heather rolled her eyes. “You can do this, okay? It’s going to be okay, let’s get you back to the dorm.”

Emma wrapped her arm around Veronica and led her out the door, into last nights snow. They walked silently, listening to the ice crunch under their feet.

“Fuck, it’s cold. Why’d I have to die in lingerie?” Heather said.

Ram and Kurt, still in their underwear and covered in blood, were not bothered, throwing snowballs at each other and yelling loudly.

“What do you keep looking at, Veronica?”

“Oh, nothing. Just- birds.”

Emma looked at her sideways and continued walking. They reached their dorm. 

“Look, I’m going to go to the library. Make yourself some coffee and get to studying. It’s going to be okay, okay?”

Veronica nodded and went inside the building as Emma walked off in the other direction.

She got in the elevator, attempting to look straight as Kurt and Ram giggled and danced around the elevator as to not freak out the other girl in their with her. She arrived at her dorm, unlocked it, and threw her keys violently at the counter. They bounced off and hit the floor. She collapsed on the couch face first.

Kurt giggled. "Look at her panties,” he whispered, pointing at Veronica’s butt. She instinctively sat up, which incited whines from Kurt and Ram.

“Can you guys shut up please? Veronica’s grieving her future here.” Heather sat down next to Veronica. “It’s okay, honey. If you get a boob job I’m sure you could strip for a few years. Just got to get used to loud noises and creepy guys, oh wait.”

Veronica groaned, putting her head between her knees.

Heather continued. "Wow, you always cared so much about college then, what, a semester in you flunk out? Bullets leave guns faster."

Veronica, despite herself, felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"You could marry, like, a rich old dude maybe? Or beg for change on the street, maybe go to jail. They offer food and shelter, you could be educated in prison like Malcolm X. Oh! You should kill yourself. If you're tired of the snow, nothing like hellfire to-

“Shut up, Heather! Please, just shut up! You don’t let me sleep, I can’t study. I can’t do this anymore Heather, I can’t do this. Go! Go away!”

“Hey, dude, she’s finally losing it!” Ram poked Kurt and pointed at Veronica, who was running her hands through her hair, slightly rocking, curled in a ball.

“You don’t get to do that, Veronica. You don’t get to tell me to leave. I could be far away from you, Veronica. I could be in college. I could be happy. I could be alive. I-”

“I don’t care.” Veronica pulled her hands out of her hair and wrapped them around her knees. 

The room was still. “You don’t care?” Heather almost whispered.

“You’re dead, Heather, I’m alive. I’m done feeling guilty. Fuck off.” 

Veronica braced herself for Heather to scream in her ear, but nothing came. After a few moments, Veronica gained the courage to lift her head. The room was empty. She almost expected Heather to pop out from under the table, but the room was still.

After a moment, Veronica picked a phonebook off of the coffee table. She opened it to T. Therapists, then tutors.


	20. JD

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy Halloween! Lets celebrate with a chapter about the spookiest thing: facing your past.

JD’s eyes got heavy as he scrubbed a thick layer of grease off of a large pan in the industrial sink. It was almost 2 am. He had started doubling up on shifts to save up so he could take classes at the local community college next fall. He was running on two hours of sleep and caffeine pills he bought in bulk to save money. His head was beginning to roll back when a chime came from the restaurant.

Joe, the waiter on duty who, JD guessed, was about one hundred years old, was fully asleep in a chair he had dragged into the kitchen. He snorted as he jolted awake from the chime.

“The door.” Joe said. “Customer.”

“Brilliant reasoning.”

“Go get it, smart ass.”

“Thats not my job!” JD turned around angrily, only to see that Joe had leaned back and promptly fell back asleep.

JD sighed and ripped the gloves off of his hands. He took Joe’s apron off of the counter and put it on, tying it tightly around his waist, which was far smaller than Joes, and pushed open the kitchen door. 

There, underneath the blue-tinted fluorescent lights, was a girl, tapping slightly chewed fingernails on the linoleum counter as she looked around the diner. JD’s heart jolted. He heard the swinging door slam shut behind him. The girl was woken from her trance. Their eyes met.

“Hey,” Veronica finally whispered, smiling slightly with one corner of her mouth.

“Hey.” JD’s heart was still uncontrollably fast. He walked closer to her slowly, eventually standing so that nothing but the counter was between them. “What are you doing here?”

Veronica shrugged and raised one of her eyebrows. “Wanted some pie.”

JD smiled and went to the glass shelves behind the counter, sliding open the door.

“Banana creme?”

“Key lime.”

“Psh. Of course.” JD rolled his eyes, but nevertheless pulled out a pan of key lime pie and set it on the counter between them. He got two forks and handed one to Veronica.

"Snob," she said, taking the fork. “This doesn’t seem professional.”

“I get paid minimum wage. That does not pay for professional.” He dug his fork into the mostly full pie tin.

They stayed silent, only briefly glancing up at each other from the pie as JD leaned against the counter with his whole body.

“Alright, Sawyer,” he finally said. “Whats up?”

She swallowed and put down her fork before finally making eye contact with him. “I got rid of them. Two days ago. I took your advice. I wanted to tell you and, you know, say thank you.”

“Always glad to be of service.”

She paused before saying, “and I wanted to see your face, I guess.”

Another awkward moment of silence followed. Veronica pursed her lips and stared at her clasped hands.

“Long drive. I should have moisturized or something.” 

She looked up at him to see him smirking at her, his eyes never leaving her face.

She laughed quietly. “Isn’t it weird how the people who can’t wait to leave high school during it center their lives so much around it after? I spent so long wanting to leave, and now I think about it constantly.” She paused, shaking her head. “I’m worried that all the decisions I’ve been making are me running from something.”

“You’re talking to the king of escapism. You’ll be fine. I mean, I turned out great, right?” 

"It's just weird. It seems like the more I run from the past the more it controls me. Sorry I'm being weird. I haven't slept in a second."

"Not weird. Night Veronica."

"Night Veronica? Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Sometimes, when you would spend the night and we stayed up really late, you would get all deep and emotional. You once cried when I let you hold Salinger." 

"I did not! You're messing with me."

"Scouts honor."

"Jesus christ. How did you ever sleep with me?"

He shrugged, to which she laughed and punched his arm.

"Anyway, as for running from your past, I think its come back to haunt you enough for one lifetime. You can probably stop."

"Thanks for the advice, wise old diner man." She lifted a forkful of pie, as if it was a glass of champagne.

"Thats my job. That and handing out free pie to random girls who come in the middle of the night."

She smiled at him and took a deep breath. “I think we’re becoming adults, man.”

“God help us.”

She shook her head slightly. “It kind of sucks that we missed our chance to be teenagers.”

“Yeah,” JD laughed. “Sorry about that.”

“Are you kidding? You’re probably the most reckless, teenage thing I’ve ever done.” He raised his eyebrows. “No, I- you know what I mean.”

“Yeah, I do.” He shook his head and looked down as he returned to getting another forkful of pie. “Don’t worry, Ronnie. You’ll have plenty of time to make bad decisions. Just make better bad decisions.”

“Yeah, I have a couple of ideas.” JD swallowed and looked up to see Veronica smirking at him.

They stayed for a moment, staring at each other, the only sound in the room the buzzing of the lights above them. 

“I should get back to work,” JD said.

“Yeah, maybe.”

JD turned to put the pie back on the shelf.

“JD?”

“Yeah?” He turned back around, pie still in hand. She stood up in her stool, leaned over the counter, grabbed the collar of his T-shirt, and pulled his lips to hers. A few seconds later, she pulled away gently, their faces still inches apart, JD now resting the hand holding the pie on the counter. 

“What are you doing?” he whispered.

“What I want.” She let go of his collar and sat back down, slinging her purse on her shoulder before standing up. “Don’t you have work to do?”

JD stood for a moment, mouth still slightly agape, before pulling off his apron and leaving it on the counter. “Fuck it.” 

He walked out from behind the counter and reached his hand out to her. She took it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	21. JD & Veronica

JD fumbled for his keys as Veronica pressed him against his apartment door. After spending a great deal of energy attempting to focus with the love of his life pressed against him, reawakening eight months of sexual frustration, he managed to fit the key in the lock, open the door, and stumble in. Veronica continued to kiss him, arms draped over his shoulders, as they walked in. He kept is eyes closed, finally able to lose himself in the softness of her lips and the shivers that ran down his spine while she twisted her hands through his hair. 

They both jumped when shouts and clapping filled the living room. JD pulled away from Veronica to discover all four of his roommates around the coffee table, Super Mario Brothers music blasting from their tiny television. Two of them had risen, and all were applauding uproariously.

“Finally! We thought you were gay or maybe training to be a monk," Jeremy said from his seat on the edge of the couch. 

“Bravo."

“What are you guys doing up?” JD half-shouted. "It's almost four!"

“Oh, we each drank three cans of surge and then took three shots of tequila to see what would happen," Jeff said, gesturing to the cans and shot glasses strewn across the table in between bags of Funyuns. "We’re gonna play monopoly next. You guys should join us!” He pointed at two pillows on the floor that they used as seats when guests came over, inviting them to sit. 

“Jeff, don’t be an idiot. They’re going to have sex.” Alex smacked Jeff.

“Oh, you guys can take the bedroom! We’ll be out here. The walls are paper thin, so we’ll try to be as loud as possible so you guys don’t feel awkward," Jeff smiled and bounced slightly on the balls of his feet.

“Okay, Veronica, do you wa-”

“VERONICA?” Peter shouted.

All four boys jumped up and rushed to form a circle around them. Veronica backed up into JD, who wrapped his arms around her.

“Are you Veronica?”

“Um, yes?” Veronica said.

“Holy shit. Holy-” Jeff ran his hands through his hair and walked quickly in a circle. 

“Okay, let’s go.” JD unwrapped his arms from around her and tapped her on the shoulder. 

“Wait, what’s up? Has he talked about me before?” Veronica was grinning. She took a step closer to the boys. JD gently grabbed her wrist and attempted to pull her towards the door.

“Oooooh my god," Jeremy said.

“He never shuts up.”

“What does he say?” Veronica was ecstatic. JD wanted to die.

Jeff took on a mocking, slightly high voice. “‘Oh she smells so good, she’s such a bad ass, her eyes are as green as the ocean.’“ 

“The ocean’s blue, dude," Alex said.

“I said none of those things.” JD pointed at Jeff, continuing to attempt to pull Veronica away. 

“Wow,” Veronica said, fake pouting.

“I mean, not that they’re not true," JD said.

“You should just read the poetry," said Alex.

The boys and Veronica were cracking up.

“I fucking hate you guys.” JD wrapped his arm around Veronica’s shoulder and was finally able to pull her out the door, away from his still cackling roommates.

“So those were your roommates, huh?”

They could hear a chorus of "bye Veronica!" and "I love youuuuu" in the falsetto JD voice through the door.

“Yup.” JD shook his head. They began to walk towards the elevator.

“I didn’t see the green George Bush.”

“Our landlord came over and we had to paint over it. Don’t worry, they’re already planning a new mural.”

“What of?”

“I think a horse riding a person, but there was contentious debate, so, we’ll see.”

“Sounds like you’re having a great time.”

He rolled his eyes and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. “How about we find a cheap hotel?” She smiled up at him and grabbed his hand.


	22. JD & Veronica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue

Veronica pulled into the 7-11 parking lot and turned off the music that she had been blasting for the last half hour. She hopped out of the car, avoiding the eyes of the group of men who leaned against the white, slightly discolored wall that faced the mostly empty parking lot. 

She walked in, hearing the familiar chime of the door. She stood on her toes to search through the aisles, when she felt arms wrap around her from behind and something cold and wet on her left shoulder.

She turned slightly in his grip to see JD smiling down at her. 

“Hey. Slurpee?” He unwrapped his right arm from around her to show her a large cherry Slurpee in his hand.

“I’ve avoided the freshman 15 long enough, Mr. Dean. You will not be my downfall,” she said, glaring at him as she grabbed it before taking a sip.

“I can’t help that this is halfway!” 

“Yeah, sure.”

The door chimed again as they walked out, taking their usual seat on the curb. 

Veronica set her Slurpee on the curb and reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out a collection of clippings from the newspaper advertisements, held together by a paper clip.

“Okay. So, this one was way too small.” She took off the clip and began to flip through the papers. “This one didn’t have air conditioning.”

“Always leading with the complaints. Why do you need air conditioning in Providence?”

“Because I’m human, you weirdo.”

“Ok, what’s wrong with this one?” he said, pointing at the clipping in her hand.

“Oh! I liked this one. Nice kitchen, close-ish to both schools, a little small, but cozy. And, pet friendly” She nudged him and smiled.

“We are not getting a dog.”

“Why not?”

“Dogs are a lot of responsibility. We’re both gonna be in school, and have jobs, and-”

“You sound like my dad.”

“I just think we’ve killed enough, my God.”

“I hate you.”

JD rolled his eyes and smiled. “Anyway, if you like it, I can come by next Wednesday before your literature class to look at it.”

“Coolio.”

He transferred his Slurpee to his left hand and wrapped the other around her shoulders, pulling her head to rest on his chest.

“I miss you.”

“I’m right here.” She laughed.

“I know.” He pressed his lips against her forehead.

“Holy fuck, your lips are cold! Stop!”

She squirmed while he held her and kissed her cheek several times with his cold, slightly blue lips. She snorted as she laughed, causing him start laughing in turn and them to leave the newspaper clippings scattered on the ground, abandoned. There was a chime and footsteps behind them, indicating someone was likely leaving the store to see them half-making out, half-wrestling on the curb. They didn't even turn. 

This was adulthood, Veronica supposed: hands stained with corn syrup and food coloring, planning a future in the 7-11 parking lot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end guys! Thank you so much for reading and commenting, it means the world to me that people have enjoyed something I've put so much work into. Please leave comments with any thoughts/ideas/likes/dislikes! I really appreciate you for sticking with me through this weird journey of a fic. Hopefully you'll see more from me in the future. <3


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